Technoid Returns

Here is part two in the ongoing saga of master villain Technoid. Please enjoy.

Technoid Returns

Chapter 1

It was a dark, stormy night at the Manhattan Jail. “Hmmmm,” Technoid thought. He looked through the barred window in the door. A guard! “Perfect!” exclaimed Technoid. “They never put that striped uniform on me, and they never searched me!” An evil plan was forming in his mind. “I think I have a small explosive in my pocket here. Good! I do!” he exclaimed. “Now, if I can throw my voice to make it sound like it’s coming from over there, I’ll bet I could get out of here! Help!” he threw his voice. “Let me out of here!” “Huh?!” said the guard. He walked away to try to find out what it was. Meanwhile, Technoid had lit the explosive and pushed it out the door. KABOOM! It exploded and blew the door down. The force of the explosion caused a huge chunk of rock to fall from the ceiling and crush the guard. “Har Har!” laughed Technoid. “Now I can get out of here!” he walked over to where the dead guard was and picked up his assault rifle. MEEP! MEEP! MEEP! He had set the alarm off. Guards were coming in from all directions. FFFFT! Went the guns as they fired. Finally, Technoid got out of the jail. “At last!” thought Technoid. “I’m home free!” He jumped into a police boat and sped off into the night.

Chapter 2

The next night a robbery was committed at the local bank. 1,000,000 dollars in cash were stolen. The day after that, every man who had a firearm was robbed of it. And it just kept going. Some thought Technoid could never be stopped.

Chapter 3

But don’t worry. Technoid COULD be stopped. By Officer Tom Kick. No villain escapes when he’s on the job. The Mad Bomber Felon didn’t escape, Gruzork the jewel thief didn’t escape. Even Technoid didn’t escape (the first time). One night, when Technoid was robbing a museum, the Mad Bomber Felon showed up. “What?!?” thought Technoid. “He’s in prison! I even saw him when I escaped. Ah ha! I know who you are! You’re Officer Kick!” “That I am,” said Officer Kick, taking off his costume. FFFFFT! Went the guns. Bang! The door came blasting down with a large THUD! As it hit the floor, Officer Kick and Technoid came rolling out. SWISH! Officer Kick had snatched Technoid’s gun. Suddenly, Technoid turned and ran.

2 guards were waiting for him. He laid both of them flat with one swift punch. But then, Officer Kick appeared. He fired his gun. BANG! It hit Technoid in the leg. He fell, stunned, by the shot. He tried to get up, but his wounded leg was just too much. He passed out. When he awoke, he was in prison. Officer Kick did it again.

THE END

Well that was the dumbest thing ever.

I’m pretty sure I managed to come up with the absolute stupidest prison escape of all time. For some reason, Technoid was never searched before being tossed in the slammer, and had an explosive on him the whole time. I don’t need to explain how ludicrous that is.

But moving past that, why the hell did Technoid wait to use his hidden explosive? If he had it on him the whole time, why not use it and bust out of there ASAP? Was he waiting for the appropriate dark and stormy night or did all the noise from that nine-day shootout in the previous story rattle his brains a little bit?

To be honest, when I was transcribing this story I was tempted to modify this part of the story somehow to make it slightly less outlandish, but I decided to leave it the way it was. The whole scenario of Technoid’s prison escape is so boneheaded I’m actually a little embarrassed by it.

But let’s ignore my shame and move on.

It’s interesting to me that in the first story, despite the nine-day shootout, no one seemed to have actually died. All of the wounded policemen were nursed back to health, but in this story, Technoid kills a guard right in the beginning and laughs about it. Clearly the big T is taking no prisoners this time around.

In my first story I never said much about why Technoid was in hiding in the first place, aside from being a super-dangerous criminal. Here we see that Technoid is a prolific thief, not only making off with a million bucks cash but also managing to break in to dozens if not hundreds of homes to steal people’s guns. How Technoid knew how to find gun owners is a mystery. Maybe he has like a gun radar or something, a gundar if you will.

And did Technoid manage to steal all of those guns in one night? Geez, the guy is like reverse Santa Claus, slipping into people’s homes and taking stuff instead of leaving presents.

Fortunately, the heroic Officer Tom Kick is on the job. He once again proves himself to be a master of disguise, taking the appearance of the infamous Mad Bomber Felon to once again get the drop on Technoid. I love the names Gruzork the Jewel Thief and the Mad Bomber Felon, they sound like villains from the 60’s Adam West Batman show. Wish I had included them as actual characters.

I spend a lot of time in these stories talking about how Technoid is virtually unstoppable, but as soon as Officer Kick shows up he goes down like a punk bitch. Officer Kick is like Technoid’s human kryptonite. I sure hope they searched Technoid before tossing him back in the clink, or the squirrely fellow might just escape again…

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