Capsule Reviews: Crawl, Zombieland: Double Tap, Terminator: Dark Fate

I saw some movies. Let’s talk about ‘em. Beware of spoilers.

Crawl

Crawl is a movie with a very simple premise: A college student and her dad get stuck in a rapidly-flooding basement during a Category 5 hurricane and must rely on their wits to survive. Also, there are several hungry alligators roaming around that will be more than happy to dine on their tasty human flesh. It’s a movie with a very clear purpose, and it succeeds admirably in achieving that purpose.

Crawl is 87 minutes long, which is just right. The movie doesn’t get bogged down with superfluous exposition or flashbacks, and the brisk running time ensures that there is never a dull moment. There are some flashbacks, but they serve to effectively build the relationship between the two main characters and never go on for too long.

Paramount Pictures

The main characters are Haley Keller (played by Kaya Scodelario) and her dad, Dave (played by Barry Pepper). Haley is a member of the swimming team at the University of Florida, and her swimming skills will come in very handy during her and her father’s harrowing ordeal. A Category 5 hurricane is rapidly approaching and Haley and her sister are concerned about their father since neither of them have been able to reach him on his cell phone. Haley decides to look for him, and eventually finds him in the basement of their old house.

Wouldn’t you know it, Dave’s got a badly broken leg, the water level in the basement is rising quickly, and there are the aforementioned gators that would like nothing more than to make the Kellers their dinner. As the water rises, it gives the ravenous reptiles more room to maneuver and increases the pressure on Haley and Dave.

In addition to being wonderfully simple and effective, the film’s premise is at least somewhat plausible. Something like this could conceivably happen, which isn’t something that is often said about horror movies. Kaya Scodelario and Barry Pepper are both very good in the lead roles, they have believable chemistry and are smart and resourceful, which makes them easy to root for. This movie wouldn’t work nearly as well if the lead characters weren’t as good as they are.

The movie was directed by Alexandre Aja, a French provocateur known for ultra-violent slasher movies such as High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes and Piranha 3D. Crawl is much more restrained than many of Aja’s other films, and he does a great job ratcheting up the tension as the film progresses. This is still a horror movie, so there are some grisly moments but the gore feels more impactful than the relentless splatter of some of Aja’s other films (the outrageously gruesome beach party massacre in Piranha comes to mind).

Crawl is made with great technical skill (the gators are CGI but done so well that it’s never distracting), razor-sharp suspense, and two compelling lead performances. It’s a movie that knows exactly what kind of movie it is, and it accomplishes what it sets out to do with flying colors. It never gets bogged down with unnecessary exposition or extraneous subplots. It’s lean, mean, and packs a sharp bite, much like those toothy gators. Fans of horror and suspense movies should eat it up.

Zombieland: Double Tap

It’s amazing that three of the four lead actors in Zombieland: Double Tap look exactly the same now as they did when the original Zombieland movie came out a full decade ago. Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg and Emma Stone all look the same in this movie as they did in the original, it is seriously uncanny. The only main cast member to look significantly different in the new movie is Abigail Breslin, which makes perfect sense when you consider that she was 13 years old when the first movie was released and is now 23.

Columbia Pictures

Given the ten-year gap, it’s amazing that this movie exists at all, and even more amazing that it’s as much fun as it is. It’s definitely not as good as the original, which came out of nowhere and surprised everyone by being as good as it was, and is still one of my favorite zombie movies. It was also one of Emma Stone’s breakout roles, she used the ten-year gap in between Zombieland movies to win an Oscar for La La Land in 2016 and star in two Spider-Man movies, among many others. I could go on for a while about what the other actors have been doing in the intervening years but I’m not going to because I have a huge crush on Emma Stone and have no shame admitting it.

Anyway, despite lacking the freshness and originality of the first movie, Double Tap is still a highly entertaining romp through a zombie-filled USA that captures the original’s movie spirit of zombie action, quirky characters and irreverent humor. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but since the first movie’s formula worked so well it’s a classic case of not fixing what ain’t broke.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this movie other than that if you enjoyed the first one you will probably enjoy the follow-up. The returning cast members are great and there are some fun new additions, the most memorable of which is probably Zoey Deutch as Madison, a clueless blonde who has nonetheless managed to survive the zombie-infested world. As Woody Harrelson’s trigger-happy character Tallahassee puts it, “Zombies eat brains, and she ain’t got none.” When he says this he is wondering how Madison has managed to survive, but perhaps he’s also answering his own question.

Zombieland: Double Tap is nothing revolutionary, but there’s still plenty of fun to be had as long as you don’t go into it expecting too much.

Terminator: Dark Fate

Okay, this movie is brand new and I’m gonna talk about some spoilers, so hold off on reading this if you haven’t seen it yet.

Let’s just start off by saying that the timeline of the Terminator movies is (and arguably always has been) a complete mess. This is somewhat inevitable given the time travel elements of the story, but at this point you’d need some kind of a PhD to make sense of it all. This, combined with the lukewarm reception to the previous three Terminator movies, led the makers of this latest installment to ignore the previous three movies entirely and make Dark Fate a direct sequel to 1991’s Terminator 2: Judgment Day, which is widely and justly regarded as one of the best action movies ever made.

These are big shoes to fill, and while Dark Fate is (again, perhaps inevitably) not as good as the first two classic Terminator films, third-best out of six ain’t too bad. Yes, I am saying that this is the best Terminator movie since Terminator 2. Dark Fate is the second film directed by Tim Miller, who made the first Deadpool movie. He fills Dark Fate to the brim with top-notch action, and because of this I found it to be a very enjoyable movie, despite some controversial plot points.

Paramount Pictures

Okay, it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room, and that elephant’s name is John Connor. Terminator: Dark Fate kills him off, early. Double shotgun blast, dead. No question. Yep, the hero of mankind’s future resistance against the machines is promptly and unequivocally dispatched. This is something that will doubtless piss off a lot of die-hard Terminator fans, but…it didn’t actually bother me very much. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I haven’t seen Terminator 2 in a long time, but my reaction to John’s death was more “Oh, wow! I didn’t see that coming!” and less “HOW DARE THEY?!?!?!” I’m a Terminator fan but for whatever reason I was pretty ambivalent about John’s swift demise.

I guess what I’m saying is that if you can get past the movie’s decision to dispatch John Connor, you’ll probably have fun with Dark Fate. I did. If you just can’t believe that the movie would kill John so quickly, you probably won’t like it much. Which would be a shame in my opinion, because there’s quite a lot to like about the movie.

The first thing to like about it is the cast. Linda Hamilton returns to the franchise after nearly thirty years, playing John’s mother Sarah, who is now a grizzled badass who is worn out after decades of fighting evil robots and is wanted in all 50 states. It’s great to see Hamilton back, she is a reminder of why people got excited about Terminator movies in the first place.

Also very good is Mackenzie Davis as Grace, an enhanced soldier sent back in time from the future to protect someone who is not John Connor. Grace is tormented by her dark past, which is also in the future…look, time travel is really confusing, but Mackenzie Davis is great. I liked her a lot, and not just because she carries on Linda Hamilton’s Terminator 2 legacy of having incredible biceps.

And of course there is the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, playing the Terminator robot who killed John but has since come to learn the error of his ways and has even found a family, who adorably call him Carl. “I’m never gonna fuckin’ call you Carl,” Sarah growls at him, in one of the movie’s funniest lines. And Carl is surprisingly funny. The movie gets a lot of mileage out of subverting the audience’s expectations for what a killer robot from the future would spend its time doing after completing its mission, which is something I admit had never occurred to me (Carl owns a drapery business).

The overall plot is mostly a rehash of previous Terminator movies. You know the drill: evil robot gets sent back in time to kill someone, good robot gets sent back in time to protect said someone. Dark Fate is basically the same thing, with a couple of different wrinkles. The evil robot this time around is called a REV-9, and in addition to being able to mimic people like the T-1000 in Terminator 2, it can also make copies of itself, which is problematic for our heroes, to say the least. Played by Gabriel Luna, the REV-9 is a fearsome foe, and is every bit as tenacious as previous Terminator antagonists.

Look, Dark Fate is not a great movie. I called it the best Terminator movie since Terminator 2, and I stand by that statement, but that does not mean it’s a great movie. The plot is largely a rehash of previous installments and it can feel formulaic. But I liked the characters, the action sequences are terrific, it’s surprisingly funny, and overall I enjoyed myself, so I can’t complain too much.

So there you go, three fun movies I’ve seen this year. I’ve been real lazy about posting lately, and I’ve got some catching up to do. The next movies I want to cover are Spider-Man: Far From Home (which I loved) and Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, which stars not two but THREE of my favorite actors. Those were fun movies and I’m looking forward to writing about them.