Capsule Reviews: John Wick 3, Aladdin, Godzilla: King of the Monsters

I’ve seen some fun movies over the last couple weeks and haven’t had time to write about them until now, so let’s talk about ‘em. First up is John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum. I’m a big fan of the John Wick series, and my expectations going into the third movie were pretty high.

Fortunately, director Chad Stahelski and star Keanu Reeves didn’t let me down. John Wick 3 is every bit as kinetic and badass as the previous films in the series. The John Wick movies continue to be an absolute dream come true for action junkies such as myself, and the action sequences in this movie are nothing less than poetry in motion.

Brutally violent poetry, but hey.

Image: Lionsgate

The third movie does have some pacing issues and is maybe a bit overlong, and the plot can be kinda confusing. I’m still not sure who that guy John meets in the desert was supposed to be. But it doesn’t matter, because the movie delivers where it counts: ACTION. Keanu Reeves is such a badass that you’d never guess he’s 54 years old. The dude puts actors half his age to absolute shame.

I could go into more detail about the extent of this movie’s awesomeness, but it’s been a few weeks since I saw it so I don’t think I could really do it justice. It has some flaws but they are more than overcome by the ferocious intensity of its action. Keanu is one of our best action stars and seems like a genuinely cool guy in real life. How much ass does this movie kick? All of it.

Next up is Aladdin. The original Aladdin is one of my favorite classic Disney movies, and it’s one of the first movies that I clearly remember seeing in a theater (I must have been around five), so it holds a very special place in my heart. I was cautiously optimistic about the new live-action version of the movie, since I genuinely love Aladdin but the new movie was directed by Guy Ritchie, a filmmaker that I have a…complicated relationship with. The movie got mixed reviews and plenty of people didn’t seem to like it, so I was prepared for potential disappointment.

Fortunately, I couldn’t have been more wrong. The new version of Aladdin is an absolute joy and I enjoyed the heck out of it. It delivers everything you want from Aladdin: all the characters, all the songs, the great story, all of it. The production design, sets, special effects and costumes are excellent across the board, the songs are vibrant and catchy, and the movie is, above all, fun.

Image: Disney

Will Smith also deserves a lot of credit for taking over the role of the Genie and making it his own. He did a great job with it, it must have been hard taking over from a performance as iconic as Robin Williams was in the original version, but I was very impressed with Smith’s work in the film. I don’t know what more you could ask for from a live-action version of Aladdin. It has some flaws, sure, but much like John Wick the overall experience is so enjoyable that its flaws are easy to overlook.

Guy Ritchie toned down the aggressive stylization that characterizes much of his work and made a movie that honestly far exceeded my expectations. The critics were very mean to it but don’t listen to them. See the movie and decide for yourself. The movie is “Rotten” on Rotten Tomatoes, but I have become increasingly jaded with Rotten Tomatoes ratings and don’t put much stock in them. The popularity of Rotten Tomatoes is something that I think has really hurt the movie industry in a lot of ways, and its ratings hold far too much sway over whether audiences see a movie or not.

This is a discussion for another time, but it boils down to this: if a movie you’re interested in gets a bad Rotten Tomatoes score or whatever, who cares? See the movie for yourself and make up your own mind. Your opinion is every bit as valid as those of so-called “professional critics.” Who needs ‘em?

Speaking of fun movies with mediocre Rotten Tomatoes scores, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is another one. For the last Godzilla movie, which came out in 2014, everyone was like, “there’s not enough Godzilla.” Godzilla appears early and often in the new movie and there’s all the monster-smashing action you could wish for. So what does everyone say? “There’s too much Godzilla.” MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS PEOPLE!!!

I hear people say that the plot of this movie is ridiculous. Of course it is! Have y’all never seen a Godzilla movie before, or any monster movie at all for that matter? They’re all ridiculous, across the board. It’s part of what makes them fun. If you’re complaining about the plausibility of a monster movie, you’re completely missing the point. This is something that should not require explanation.

Image: Warner Bros./Legendary

King of the Monsters was directed by Michael Dougherty, and it’s his first foray into big-budget blockbuster filmmaking. His previous movies included the cult classics Trick ‘r Treat and Krampus, and he’s clearly a guy who loves monster movies. His film brings together some of the most classic monsters from the long-running series of Japanese Godzilla films (there are seriously like 30 Godzilla movies). There’s Mothra (a giant moth, obviously), Rodan (basically a humongous pterodactyl), and King Ghidorah, a massive three-headed dragon who is the movie’s main antagonist.

I don’t know if you knew this, but it’s actually been scientifically-proven that nothing on earth is cooler and more badass than a three-headed dragon, except for maybe John Wick. You can’t argue with this, it’s science.

Again, I’m not saying this movie is perfect by any means. The plot is a bit hard to follow and there are a lot of great actors in this movie who get almost nothing to do. Poor Charles Dance, for example, does almost nothing but glower in the background of a few scenes. So yes, the characters in the movie are not very memorable, despite being played by capable actors such as Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Kyle Chandler, Ken Watanabe and Sally Hawkins (the latter two reprising their roles from the 2014 Godzilla film). But it’s no slight against these very good actors to say that they’re not the real stars of the movie.

The stars of a movie subtitled “King of the Monsters” are the damn monsters, and they are AWESOME. They look great, they sound great, they smash stuff real good. A lot of care and attention clearly went into the design and creation of these mighty beasts, and the action sequences in the movie are thrilling and fun. There were multiple times during the movie where I thought to myself, “now THIS is the stuff I pay to see!” and that’s pretty much the highest compliment I can give. I came for fun monster action, and fun monster action was what I got, so I left the theater happy. Bring on Godzilla Vs. Kong, which is set for release next year.

So there you go, three movies that weren’t perfect but hey, what movie is? Other than Die Hard, anyway. John Wick 3, Aladdin and the new Godzilla film are excellent summer entertainment, critics be damned. If you want to see a movie, go see it. If you pick one of these you’ll have a good time. Next up is X-Men: Dark Phoenix and Elton John biopic Rocketman, which came out this weekend but I haven’t seen yet. Next weekend, hopefully! Go have fun at the movies!

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Avengers: Endgame Is As Good As Endings Get

When the Marvel Cinematic Universe began way back in 2008 with the first Iron Man, I was a nineteen-year-old college freshman. In the years since, I graduated from college, was the best man at a dear friend’s wedding, had four or five jobs, turned thirty, and wrote more than two hundred blog posts (this one is number 204, but who’s counting?)

Throughout my twenties, a third of my life, I’ve gone to the theater a couple times every year to see the newest Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, and I’ve enjoyed every single one of them. Sure, many of them are far from perfect, but each movie has many things to enjoy. Throughout all these movies, I’ve come to know and love the characters, and seeing every actor reprise his or her role in each movie is like seeing an old friend again.

My attachment to these movies and their characters partly stems from the fact that I’m a lifelong reader of comics of all kinds and a superhero aficionado. Even then, many of the MCU characters were ones I had only a passing familiarity with, but since the MCU started I’ve read comics featuring many of the MCU characters, because I liked them so much that I wanted to hang out with them more. I’ve also watched a lot of movies featuring various Avengers cast members, because I liked all the actors so much too.

Whoever the casting director was who cast these actors, he/she deserves a lot of credit. In all of the literally dozens of characters that populate the MCU’s 22 movies, not once have I thought that an actor wasn’t well-suited to his or her role. And with very few exceptions, every character has been played by the same actor for the better part of a decade.

I mention all of this to illustrate how emotionally invested I am in this series. Like many people, I left last year’s Avengers movie, Infinity War, feeling like I had just been slapped in the face. The movie was amazing, and its ending left me utterly devastated. I watched Infinity War again the day before I saw Endgame, and that Spider-Man scene (you know the one) still hits me like a ton of bricks. After Infinity War ended, the idea of waiting for a year to find out what would happen next was agonizing.

Fast-forward a year and a few more movies later, and that continuation is finally here. Avengers: Endgame had a hell of a lot of expectations and hype to live up to, and it exceeded them all. From this point on, there will be spoilers. If you haven’t seen the movie and don’t want to know what happens, what are you waiting for? Go see it!

Images: Marvel/Disney

That spoiler warning is doubly important when you consider that the movie’s trailers and advertising have spoiled nothing about the plot. There were some plot details that leaked before the movie came out but I stayed as far away from those as I possibly could so I was able to see the movie completely unspoiled. And it was GLORIOUS. I LOVED Endgame. It was everything I hoped it would be. It was tense, exciting, action-packed, emotionally resonant, and most of all, fun.

It’s an amazing storytelling achievement. It resolves Infinity War’s brutal cliffhanger ending, it brings closure to the story arcs for several beloved characters, and never once feels three hours long. Yes, this movie is three hours long, and not once did I feel like it was dragging on for too long. Those three hours flew by. The story is consistently surprising, the acting is excellent, the dialogue is sharp and funny, the chemistry between the actors is strong, the relationships between the characters develop in meaningful and unexpected ways, the action sequences are thrilling, and the final epic battle is pure cinematic bliss.

The movie was directed once again by Joe and Anthony Russo, who previously helmed Avengers: Infinity War, Captain America: Civil War and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Those movies had some of the best, most intense and well-choreographed action sequences of the MCU, and the Russo brothers pulled out all the stops for Endgame. The final battle in this film is epic in every sense of the word, bringing together nearly all of the major characters for a spectacular showdown that I didn’t want to end.

Like the rest of the movie, the final battle is so full of great moments that I can’t even remember them all. Captain America is worthy of the power of Thor! Captain Marvel arrives at a crucial moment to beautifully destroy Thanos’ mothership! Valkyrie rides in on a winged horse! Thor dual-wields Mjolnir and Stormbreaker! Ant-Man rescues the Hulk! The triumphant return of the characters we lost in Infinity War! All of these moments, and so many more, are immensely satisfying and an absolute joy to behold. I don’t have enough superlatives.

The epicness comes to a tragic end, as Tony Stark uses the Infinity Stones to evaporate Thanos and his minions, in a reverse version of the Snap that Thanos unleashed in the conclusion of Infinity War. But the power of the stones was too much for Tony to handle, and he dies, surrounded by his friends and family. It’s a full-circle way to end not just the movie but a decade’s worth of movies. The series began with Tony Stark, and in many ways it ends with him too.

Which is not to say that the MCU will be ending. Endgame has already made a jaw-dropping amount of money and is well on its way to becoming the biggest movie of all time. The MCU will continue, but it will look very different. The movie also ends the story of Steve Rogers as Captain America, bringing his story to a poignant and moving conclusion. It’s hard to imagine an MCU without Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, but they will never be forgotten.

And no, I’m not forgetting about Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow, who sacrifices herself so her friends can obtain one of the crucial infinity stones and her friend Hawkeye can get his family back after his wife and three kids are taken from him in the movie’s wrenching opening scene. I was expecting Tony and Steve to reach the end of their journeys, but Natasha’s death came as a complete surprise. There’s still a Black Widow movie in the works so we will probably be seeing Natasha again at least once, but it will have to be in prequel form.

There are other unexpected character beats that are less sad. Hulk, for example, was an absolute joy. It seems that Bruce Banner was able to fuse himself with the Hulk, so he now has the Hulk’s body and Bruce Banner’s personality and intelligence. I thought of him as Professor Hulk, and he was wonderful. I really want a Professor Hulk movie now, which was something I didn’t realize I wanted until I saw Endgame.

Also a joy was Fat Thor. Chris Hemsworth is very underrated as a comedic actor, and he is hilarious, slyly stealing every scene he’s in. In the years since the Snap wiped out half of all life, Thor has let himself go a little bit. He’s fat, plays videogames in his house all day, and is quite possibly a full-blown alcoholic. It’s very funny, but it’s also shocking to see him this way, since it’s the polar opposite of how we’re used to seeing Thor, since let’s face it, Chris Hemsworth is pretty much the epitome of physical perfection.

I’ve read some stupid comments online about how the movie is fat-shaming Thor or making fun of people who play video games as being fat slobs, but like with most things on the internet, such talk is utterly ridiculous. The movie isn’t fat-shaming or making fun of anyone, it’s showing that Thor is a broken man. It’s funny to see him in a way we’ve never seen him before, but it’s also tragic when you think about it because it shows how depressed and broken he is.

Another aspect of the movie I liked was how it made Hawkeye, Nebula and Ant-Man three of the most important characters. Ant-Man and The Wasp was the first MCU movie post-Infinity War, and at the time of its release it was a bit difficult to see why Marvel chose it to be the first movie to come out in the wake of Infinity War’s devastating conclusion. But as it turns out, that movie introduced a key plot element that is very important in Endgame, and it ends up being Ant-Man’s idea that helps the Avengers bring back everyone they lost in Infinity War.

Yes, there is time travel in this movie, and it can get a bit messy. But I find it’s best not to get too bogged down with the logistics of time travel and just enjoy the ride. The time travel shenanigans lead to the Avengers revisiting the events of previous movies, and I thought it was awesome to see things from earlier movies that we didn’t see before, like the aftermath of the battle of New York from the first Avengers movie. I also liked how all of their intricate plans end up going awry in various ways, and there are scenarios like Tony Stark running into his dad or Steve Rogers having a fight with his past self.

Avengers: Endgame is a big, complex beast of a movie, and it can be a little overwhelming at times. There’s a lot to digest, and I’m sure that fans will be debating many aspects of its story for years to come. I can’t wait to see it again and pick up on things I missed the first time. It’s a hugely satisfying movie. It rewards the fans with an epic conclusion that is fun and exciting but also moving, and it doesn’t lose track of its characters amongst all the spectacle. A tip of the hat is due to writers Christopher Markus and Steven McFeely. Telling a coherent story with so many characters and such a complex plot, not to mention huge fan expectations, must have been an incredibly difficult balancing act, but they pulled it off with aplomb.

I will miss the characters we lost, but I can’t wait to see what the future holds for the MCU. The only MCU movie that currently has a release date is Spider-Man: Far From Home, which is due for release on July 2. Marvel hasn’t announced release dates for more movies past that, but I’m sure they will eventually. It’s been a heck of a ride, and Marvel has managed to fulfill the promise of its shared superhero universe with more success than anyone could have predicted.

Until next time, true believers!

Mission: Impossible – Fallout is the Perfect Summer Movie

Tom Cruise may be a weirdo, but you’ve got to give the man credit. It’s hard to think of an A-list Hollywood actor as willing to put himself in harm’s way for the sake of our entertainment. Cruise has been topping himself with each successive installment of the venerable Mission: Impossible franchise, and I can’t wait to see what he’ll have in store next time.

I’m already looking forward to the next Mission: Impossible movie, because Fallout, the sixth and latest film in the series, is everything I want from a summer movie. It’s fun, smart, tense, and absolutely thrilling from start to finish, and despite a 147-minute running time, those nearly two-and-a-half-hours disappear in a flash.

Images: Paramount Pictures

Cruise once again plays unstoppable superspy Ethan Hunt, still working for the Impossible Mission Force, or IMF. This time around he has to stop a group of fanatics known as the Apostles from acquiring nuclear material. That’s the most basic way of describing the plot, so if it sounds trite rest assured that the movie is much cleverer than my bare-bones plot description makes it sound. I’m being vague because I don’t want to give anything away, and I really want people to go out and see this film for a perfect example of smart, fun, exciting entertainment that doesn’t treat viewers like idiots.

Joining Ethan on his mission are familiar faces Benji and Luther, played respectively by Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames. Pegg and Rhames have been playing these roles for multiple films and they are the best kind of movie sidekicks. They’re smart, funny, badass and have great personalities, and don’t feel like stock characters or that they only exist to get captured. They are capable and valuable allies. Also returning is Rebecca Ferguson as the wonderfully-named English spy Ilsa Faust, whose loyalties are somewhat unclear. She’s every bit as badass as she was in the previous film, Rogue Nation, and is very much Ethan’s equal.

Another returning cast member is (spoiler alert if you haven’t seen any of the movie’s trailers) Michelle Monaghan as Ethan’s wife Julia, who hasn’t been seen since the third M:I movie, although technically she made a short cameo appearance in the fourth one. I love that the series hasn’t forgotten about Julia and hasn’t given Ethan any unnecessary romantic entanglements or had him casually jump into bed with every attractive woman that crossed his path. Julia’s presence provides a strong sense of continuity and the movie gives a satisfying amount of closure to Ethan and Julia’s relationship, which I hadn’t been expecting.

But here I am talking about relationships in what will very likely be the best action movie of the year. So, how’s the action? It’s top-notch. The movie was written and directed by Christopher McQuarrie, also returning from the previous film, Rogue Nation. Fallout is the first movie in the series to have been helmed by a returning director, and McQuarrie outdoes his previous efforts in nearly way. I loved Rogue Nation, but Fallout may be even better.

When the time comes to list the best action sequences of 2018, most of them will come from this movie. The HALO jump. The bathroom fight. The Paris motorcycle chase. The showstopping helicopter chase, followed by a brutal battle on the edge of a cliff. And many more. All of these sequences are breathtaking, and they all look totally real. I’m sure some CGI was used at certain points, but Fallout does not look like a CGI-heavy movie, which is remarkable in this age of incredibly advanced special effects. The movie’s stunt team deserves a shout-out for their incredible work in this film, every stunt is flawlessly executed.

Aside from one, of course, the infamous rooftop jump on which Cruise broke his ankle, delaying production while his leg healed. The shot where Cruise breaks his ankle is still in the film, and you’ve got to give the man credit for soldiering on and pulling himself up on to that roof despite what must have been a very painful injury. He also learned to fly a helicopter for the film (that’s really him during that pulse-pounding chopper chase) and spent an entire year learning to do the HALO jump. HALO is an acronym for High-Altitude, Low Opening, and is incredibly dangerous. The IMDb Trivia section for the movie says it best:

While Tom Cruise (Ethan Hunt) is famously known for performing his own stunts throughout the franchise, he ups the ante in this installment by performing four elaborate set pieces (mostly without green screens or stunt doubles): a HALO jump, an unusually dangerous variety of High-Altitude Low Opening parachute jumps; a helmet-free motorcycle chase through Paris, including a portion in which Hunt rides against traffic in the circle around the Arc de Triomphe; an extended foot chase across London rooftops, in which Cruise broke his ankle while jumping between two rooftops; and a helicopter chase in which Cruise does most of the piloting.

Credit to IMDb.

That’s INSANE. The guy literally put his life on the line multiple times, and the end results are spectacular. Fallout is indeed the Mad Max: Fury Road of 2018. It sets a very high mark for on-screen action and stunt work and will be the action movie to beat for a long time. If you’re like me and love intense, fast-paced movies that get your blood pumping, Fallout is a dream come true.

And I haven’t even mentioned the villains. Sean Harris returns as the diabolical Solomon Lane, the ruthless head of the Syndicate from Rogue Nation. Harris’ raspy voice is deeply menacing, and the movie has stakes that feel very real, despite all the times Ethan and his team have saved the world in the past. The movie has a solid emotional core, and I actually felt myself being moved by it a few times. It does a lot to humanize Ethan, and shows that he’s not just a superhuman stunt machine. You really care about the guy.

New to the series is Angela Bassett as CIA director Erika Sloane, who doesn’t trust Ethan and the IMF, and so assigns one of her own agents to accompany Ethan on his mission. That agent is August Walker, played by Henry Cavill, whose mustache caused so many problems for Justice League reshoots. I’ll be honest, Cavill’s not the best actor in the world, he can be a bit flat. But what he lacks in charisma he makes up for in physicality. Walker is noticeably bigger than Ethan and his presence causes unforeseen complications which I won’t elaborate on in the attempt to avoid spoilers.

I loved this movie. It’s whip-smart, has an excellent cast, a plot that keeps you guessing, and the most thrilling action of the year. The first Mission: Impossible movie came out all the way back in 1996, and it is amazing that after more than two decades the franchise is still going strong. Heck, I was eight years old when the first movie was released, now I’m nearly thirty. The series has stood the test of time and continues to deliver top-notch entertainment.

May it continue for another couple decades. I can’t wait.

Ant-Man and The Wasp is Fun but Underwhelming

It was always going to be hard to follow up Avengers: Infinity War. Even before the movie came out and everyone saw its devastating ending, the hype for it was so strong that Marvel’s next movie after it was going to have a tough act to follow. Ant-Man and The Wasp, while perfectly enjoyable in its own right, isn’t quite up to the task.

Paul Rudd returns as Scott Lang, the ex-con turned sort-of Avenger who has been under house arrest for the past two years following the events of Captain America: Civil War. He’s only got a few days left before his ankle tracker gets removed, and he’s trying to be on his best behavior. It’s only a few days! How hard can that be?


Marvel/Disney

Harder than Scott thinks. He quickly becomes embroiled in all kinds of shenanigans that make the prospect of being under house arrest for just a few more days much more difficult. He joins up with his old pals Dr. Hank Pym (played by Michael Douglas) and Hank’s daughter Hope (played by Evangeline Lilly), who are determined to rescue Hank’s wife and Hope’s mother Janet from the Quantum Realm, where she has been trapped for the last 30 years.

If you don’t know what the Quantum Realm is, then you probably haven’t seen the first Ant-Man movie. Basically, it’s when things get really, really, really small. Like sub-atomically small. Hank and Hope have devised an elaborate machine which will allow them to journey into the Quantum Realm to save Janet, and they need Scott’s help.

That’s all well and good, but the problem is that the audience doesn’t know Janet and has never met her before this movie. She’s played by Michelle Pfeiffer, which is fine, but she’s barely in the movie. Janet is not a character so much as an idea. The movie seems to think that if you like Hope and Hank then you’ll immediately be invested in their quest to rescue a person they both love, but sadly that just isn’t the case. I do like Hope and Hank but I was not very invested in the story.

This stands in stark contrast to Avengers: Infinity War, in which I was deeply invested in everything that happened. This extends to previous Marvel movies going back to last year. I was invested in Black Panther, Spider-Man: Homecoming, Thor Ragnarok, Guardians of the Galaxy 2…but I just didn’t care very much about Ant-Man and The Wasp. Saving Janet didn’t mean much to me. It couldn’t help but feel like a huge comedown after the galaxy-shattering events of the previous films.

I’m sure there was a reason this was Marvel’s next movie after Infinity War. They’ve got all this planned out, so Ant-Man and The Wasp probably serves a purpose leading up to the next Avengers movie. And no, I’m not forgetting about the first post-credits scene, which connects to the ending of Infinity War and leaves Ant-Man in a situation of dire peril. Maybe he’ll play an important role in fixing everything after Thanos wiped out half the universe. Maybe this movie will seem more important in retrospect, once we know more. But for now, the whole thing just feels insignificant.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t hate this movie. Like, at all. It’s very enjoyable and I had a good time watching it. I went to the theater expecting to be entertained, and I was. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it just can’t help but feel like a step down after the megahits that were Black Panther and Infinity War.

But let’s put all that aside and focus on Ant-Man and The Wasp by itself, without all the baggage of previous films. It’s a lot of fun. Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly (who plays the Wasp, in case you were wondering about the second half of the film’s title) are effortlessly charismatic and extremely likable. They’re both very endearing and appealing protagonists and the two actors have great chemistry. The movie was directed by Peyton Reed, who also helmed the first Ant-Man movie and does a good job balancing the action and top-notch special effects with the considerable humor.

Ant-Man and The Wasp is a very funny movie, buoyed by the chemistry of Rudd and Lilly and helped greatly by Michael Pena, an actor I am always happy to see. Pena plays Luis, Scott’s former cellmate-turned best friend and business partner. Luis is a hoot and gets most of the movie’s biggest laughs. He and Scott are trying to start a security company called X-Con with a few of their other pals from the first movie, and the four of them make a motley crew who are fun to spend time with. It didn’t even occur to me until after the movie was over that their company is called X-Con because they’re all ex-cons, which I thought was very clever as it continues a running joke from the first movie in a wryly subtle fashion.

There’s a villain, of course, whom Scott calls Ghost, a rather unoriginal moniker but an appropriate one given her abilities. She can phase through objects and has limited teleportation abilities, which makes her very hard to handle in a fight. She’s played by Hannah John-Kamen, who makes her a sympathetic figure once you learn more about her, while still making her a force to be reckoned with. A secondary villain is played by Walton Goggins, who’s having a busy year after playing the villain in the recent Tomb Raider reboot. Laurence Fishburne is also in the movie, and he’s always a welcome presence.

There are a lot of very fun action sequences which make creative use of the movie’s shrinking/growing technology, such as an exciting car chase late in the film which is one of the most purely enjoyable action set-pieces of the year. It involves the use of a giant Hello Kitty Pez dispenser, which is pretty hilarious and unlike anything else I’ve seen in a theater so far this year. There are a lot of funny sight gags and it’s easy to tell that the filmmakers must have had a blast coming up with creative ways to grow and shrink things.

Ant-Man and The Wasp is the rare case of a Marvel movie that suffers when placed in the overall framework of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Taken by itself it’s a very fun summer movie, albeit one hampered by a lackluster plot, but it still gets more things right than it does wrong. It’s not the fault of the movie itself that it feels like a step down from previous Marvel movies, which is too bad. Maybe the decision to make it the follow-up to Infinity War’s brutal cliffhanger ending will make more sense once we have some more context. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Next post is going to be about SKYSCRAPER, Dwayne Johnson’s latest action spectacular, which was heavily inspired by Die Hard, which as we all know is the Best Movie Ever Made. Sounds like fun!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom – HUMANS NEVER LEARN

The Jurassic Park franchise has always been based on people making really stupid decisions. Why don’t we ever learn? Because if we did, then there would be no more Jurassic movies, and the studio executives would make no money.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom feels like a movie that was made as a bridge of sorts. The third Jurassic World movie is already set for release in 2021, and Fallen Kingdom feels like the middle of a trilogy, in that it doesn’t have much of a beginning and its ending doesn’t even try to wrap things up.

The movie was directed by J.A. Bayona, a talented Spanish director whose previous films include The Orphanage, The Impossible, and A Monster Calls. I haven’t seen them, but I’ve heard good things about all three and they’re on my ever-expanding watch list, so hopefully I’ll get to them soon. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a well-directed movie with dazzling special effects, but is severely let down in the script department.

Images: Universal Pictures

The script was written by Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly, who also co-wrote the previous film in the franchise, 2015’s Jurassic World, which Trevorrow also directed. They should not be allowed to write the third film, because every single character in both of their Jurassic World movies is an idiot who learns nothing.

At the end of Jurassic World, the titular theme park closed for good after a colossal disaster led to the release of the dinosaurs and a bunch of unlikable/boring people being eaten. Three years later, the volcano on the island that formerly housed Jurassic World is on the verge of erupting, and the dinosaurs are in danger of becoming extinct once again. Why anyone would build a theme park on an island with a potentially active volcano on it is yet another mystery that may never be solved.

A debate rages about how to handle the situation, with some people (including Jeff Goldblum’s Dr. Ian Malcolm, who is in the movie for less than five minutes) thinking that since it was a bad idea to bring the dinosaurs back in the first place, it is not a bad thing that nature is about to once again remove the dinosaurs from existence. Others, such as Claire Dearing (played once again by Bryce Dallas Howard), think differently.

Claire, the former operations manager at Jurassic World, has since become an animal-rights advocate who wants to save the dinosaurs. She is recruited by an aging billionaire named Benjamin Lockwood (played by James Cromwell) and his right-hand man Eli Mills (played by Rafe Spall) to go to the island as part of a rescue operation to relocate the dinosaurs to a new island where they will be safe. She agrees and recruits her ex-boyfriend Owen Grady (played by Chris Pratt) to assist. Owen trained the park’s velociraptors back in the day and has a special relationship with Blue, the sole surviving raptor.

If saving a bunch of extremely dangerous giant reptiles from an island with an erupting volcano on it sounds like a dumb idea, that’s because it objectively is. But this is only the first of many dumb ideas the characters of this film have up their sleeves.

From here on out, there are going to be spoilers. It can’t be helped. You have been warned.

It turns out that the dinosaur rescue operation is only half the story. After a sufficient number of dinosaurs have been recovered, instead of transporting them to a different island, they are instead brought back to Lockwood’s mansion, where his evil assistant Mills plans to sell them off to the highest bidders. As an extra incentive to potential buyers, Mills has had Jurassic World geneticist Dr. Henry Wu (played by B.D. Wong, who along with Jeff Goldblum is the only actor from the original Jurassic Park film to appear in the new movies) to create a new, genetically-engineered dinosaur.

You may recall from Jurassic World that the main reason everything went to shit in the first place was because Claire authorized Wu to create the Indominus Rex, a genetically-engineered super-dino who promptly escaped containment and went on a rampage. Well, clearly we stupid humans have CONTINUED TO LEARN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and Wu has created the INDORAPTOR, a hybrid of Indominus Rex and velociraptor DNA, a creature designed SPECIFICALLY FOR HUNTING AND KILLING. THERE IS NO WAY THIS COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

Now, to be fair, the Indoraptor is actually pretty cool. The reasons for its creation may be deeply stupid, but it’s a cool-looking creature and I enjoyed watching it create havoc and mayhem after its inevitable escape. I called it the Murdersaurus, which is what I will refer to it as for the remainder of this post. Generally, the Jurassic World films have done a good job with the dinosaurs and a poor job with the human characters, since most of them are dull and make dumb decisions.

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are both charismatic and likable actors but they don’t have much chemistry in these movies, and I found it difficult, verging on impossible, to care about their on-again, off-again relationship. The supporting cast includes some good actors but most of them get nothing to do. Besides Jeff Goldblum and James Cromwell, both of whom are thoroughly wasted, take Ted Levine. He plays a grizzled mercenary whose name escapes me whose sole character trait is that he enjoys using pliers to rip dinosaurs’ teeth out. You don’t need me to tell you that this macabre proclivity comes back around to bite him (if you see what I mean) as soon as he makes the catastrophically-stupid decision to take the tooth of a drugged Murdersaurus. Let’s just say that tranquilizers don’t keep the Murdersaurus down for very long.

I could go into a lot more detail about all the things in the plot of this movie that make absolutely no sense, but based on what I’ve written above you can probably figure most of them out for yourself. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is the kind of movie that’s a lot of fun to watch with friends and drinks and talk about all the dumb things in it, but it’s very hard to take the movie seriously.

My feelings about this movie are similar to my feelings about RAMPAGE, which came out back in April. That movie was also dumb as hell and full of people making drastically bad decisions, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. I enjoyed Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom for much the same reason. It was fun. I knew I was in for a good time when the movie opened with a scene involving a helicopter and a T-Rex. More movies should open with scenes involving helicopters and T-Rexes.

Fallen Kingdom is a dopey movie but I still got quite a bit of enjoyment out of it, despite its MANY issues. It looks terrific and the dinosaurs are photorealistic, even the made-up Murdersaurus looks damn good. There are fun and suspenseful action sequences that had the people around me in the theater literally gripping the armrests of their seats and the woman sitting next to me visibly recoiled away from the screen during some of the more intense scenes. It may be dumb but it’s certainly effective, and Chris Pratt is always watchable, even if his character is badly-written.

Speaking of bad writing, Fallen Kingdom ultimately falls prey to the same problem that afflicted The Last Jedi: it’s well-directed but badly-written, and ends up being more than a little bit messy. Still, it’s loaded with fun and intense dino-action, which should be enough for summer moviegoers.

Long live the Murdersaurus. Oh wait, it died. Shit.

Incredibles 2 is Sweet, Zippy Fun

One of the most amazing things about Pixar movies is that they never pander to kids. The people at Pixar don’t assume that little kids are dumb, and therefore kids’ movies can be dumb and it won’t matter. The people who make drivel like the Smurfs and Alvin and the Chipmunks movies (if such tripe can even be called “movies”) don’t understand this, but Pixar does.

And thank God for that. Pixar movies are funny, sweet, emotionally resonant, gorgeous to look at, and have uplifting messages about the importance of family and friendship. Pixar’s latest film, Incredibles 2, ticks all those boxes.

Image: Disney/Pixar

Incredibles 2 was written and directed by Brad Bird, making his return to animation after a pair of live-action films, one of which (2011’s Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol) was a hit, the other (2015’s Tomorrowland) was an expensive flop. Before those films, Bird made The Iron Giant, Ratatouille, and the first Incredibles movie, all three of which are wonderful animated films. Incredibles 2 is a triumphant return to form for Bird and is absolute tons of fun.

It’s hard to believe that the first Incredibles movie came out all the way back in 2004, and the new movie picks up right where that one left off, with the Parr family in hot pursuit of the Underminer, a mole-like villain. The Underminer isn’t the movie’s main antagonist, but his appearance starts the movie off with a zippy action sequence that immediately puts the viewer right back into the movie’s world. Even after all these years, it’s amazing how easy it is to slip into such a fun setting.

All the voice actors from the original movie return for the sequel, including Craig T. Nelson as Bob Parr, aka Mr. Incredible, Holly Hunter as wife Helen, aka Elastigirl, and Samuel L. Jackson as Bob’s best friend Lucius, aka Frozone (who I now can’t help but think looks exactly like Kevin Durant). Sarah Vowell and Huck Milner also return as Bob and Helen’s kids Violet and Dash, who despite being fourteen years older now than they were when they voiced the characters in the first movie, have no trouble making Violet and Dash sound exactly the same as you remember. Also returning is writer/director Brad Bird as Edna Mode, the brilliant and eccentric maker of the Parr family’s super-suits. Edna has to make a new suit for baby Jack-Jack, the youngest member of the Parr family, who is manifesting several strange and unpredictable powers, which he has no control over because he’s, you know, a baby.

I love the idea of a baby with unpredictable superpowers, and Bob’s attempts to take care of Jack-Jack while his powers are going crazy are some of the funniest scenes in the film. My favorite scene in the movie is when Jack-Jack spots a raccoon outside their house and gets into an epic battle with it that tears through the entire backyard. I also loved Bob’s reaction to this, which is not horror but joy at discovering his youngest child also has superpowers.

Bob’s adventures in solo parenting come about as a result of Helen’s new job. She is chosen by rich industrialists Winston Deavor (voiced by Bob Odenkirk) and his sister Evelyn (voiced by Catherine Keener) to be the face of a new campaign to legalize superheroes again, after they were made illegal in the first film. Their efforts are complicated by the arrival of a new villain calling himself the Screenslaver, a cunning hypnotist who uses TV and phone screens to hypnotize his victims to do his bidding, after which they have no memory of their actions while under his control. Its eerie how poignant that is. Still, the Screenslaver is one of the film’s weaker elements, since it’s not very hard to figure out who he really is.
While his wife is off doing superheroic stuff, Bob is at home with the kids. Bob loves his kids, but he longs to be out there with his wife being a superhero and saving the day. The film’s message is that being a parent and a loving friend and family member is also a heroic act, and that even though he may not be out there saving the day with his wife, Bob is still a hero to his kids. This message is touching and sweet, and like other Pixar films, it never bashes the viewer over the head with it. Nothing ruins an otherwise uplifting and welcome message like having it shoved down your throat, but Pixar movies never do this.

As he demonstrated with his Mission: Impossible movie and the first Incredibles, Bird is a very talented director of kinetic action scenes. Action is a crucial element to any superhero story, and Incredibles 2 delivers enough action for any summer blockbuster. Highlights include Elastigirl’s attempts to stop a high-speed elevated train which suddenly starts going very quickly in the wrong direction, and of course Jack-Jack’s epic showdown with that diabolical raccoon (side note: all raccoons are evil). There are many other fun and exciting action sequences, but to describe them would be to give away too much of the plot. All of them are great, and will keep the eyes of both kids and adults glued to the screen.

Everyone knows by now that Pixar movies always look great, but Incredibles 2 is nothing less than a technological masterpiece. The colors are bright and vivid, the animation smooth and fluid. The details on the characters are equally impressive. Their facial expressions and body language are expressive and every bit as distinct as flesh and blood characters. It’s surprising that there aren’t more animated superhero movies, since animation allows filmmakers to create action sequences that would be difficult if not impossible to achieve in live action.

In my opinion, Incredibles 2 isn’t quite as good as its predecessor, since the plot isn’t as strong and the mystery of the villain’s identity isn’t hard to figure out. There are also some other superheroes that show up that, while it is fun to see their various powers and costumes, don’t really register as actual characters. But the Parr family remains as likable, heroic, and easy to root for as ever, and the film is a ton of fun that will appeal to children and adults alike.

Solo: A Star Wars Story: I Have an Okay Feeling about This

“Iconic” is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but rarely is it more appropriate than when talking about Han Solo, one of the most beloved and influential sci-fi characters of all time. He’s a scoundrel with a heart of gold, a good-for-nothing troublemaker who becomes one of the leaders of the Rebel Alliance and best friend and most trusted confidante of Luke Skywalker.

A movie about such an irresistible character should be a slam dunk. And yet, Solo: A Star Wars Story went through serious behind-the-scenes upheavals on its way to hitting theaters. Long story short, the movie was originally going to be directed by 21 Jump Street and The Lego Movie directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, who were fired several months into production and replaced by Ron Howard, who subsequently re-shot most of the film. We’ll never get to see Lord and Miller’s version of the movie, and we’ll probably never know the whole story behind their firing. But the movie Howard put together, while not a classic in the making, is still a lot of fun.

Images: Disney/Lucasfilm

Han is played by Alden Ehrenreich, a 28-year old actor. He had big shoes to fill, since Han Solo is one of Harrison Ford’s most iconic (there’s that word again) roles. It would be difficult for any actor to play such a character, and Ehrenreich does pretty well. I’d imagine playing young Han Solo would be the kind of role every young actor would want, since who wouldn’t want to play such a famous character and hang out in such a fun universe. At the same time, no one would want to play young Han Solo because of the inevitable comparisons to Harrison Ford. Let’s get this out of the way: Alden Ehrenreich is not as good of a Han Solo as Harrison Ford, but to be fair to the guy, who would be?

The movie begins on the planet Corellia, a backwater that Han and his girlfriend Qi’ra (played by very likable Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke) are desperate to escape from so they can see the galaxy together. They almost succeed, only for Qi’ra to be arrested and separated from Han. Seeing no other options, Han enlists in the Imperial Navy in the hopes of becoming a pilot, getting a ship, and returning to Corellia to save Qi’ra.

None of this happens. Han ends up meeting a Wookiee named Chewbacca and the two of them fall in with a smuggler named Beckett (played by Woody Harrelson) and his partner Val (played by Thandie Newton, so amazing in Westworld and criminally underused here). From there, the movie becomes a series of adventures as Han and his new pals jet across the galaxy, getting in heaps of trouble at every turn.

There’s not much of an overall plot here, it’s more of a series of adventures that, while fun, end up feeling somewhat inconsequential. Han and Co. are caught up in a mission to steal a supply of coaxium, an extremely valuable (and dangerous) starship fuel. Starship fuel, while undeniably cool, is kind of boring as a plot point. The movie’s biggest problem is that it doesn’t feel like much is at stake. You know Han and Chewie aren’t going to die, so you’re not worried about their long-term prospects. The suspense is short-term and comes from wondering how our intrepid heroes are going to escape from whatever predicament they currently find themselves in.

The story also doesn’t serve much of a purpose in the overall Star Wars universe. Rogue One, the other Star Wars spinoff movie, was a direct prequel to Episode IV, and felt strongly connected to the rest of the series. It told the story of desperate people on what they knew would most likely be a suicide mission, but they did it anyway because it was the right thing to do. It was a movie with a strong sense of purpose and a genuine moral compass. Solo, by contrast, has neither. It feels untethered from the rest of the series and its characters are either in it for the money or to save their own skins. As understandable as these motivations might be, they don’t necessarily make for compelling drama.

Despite the lack of dramatic heft, the movie is perfectly enjoyable as a piece of entertainment. There are a lot of fun and exciting action sequences and there is an undeniable thrill in seeing beloved characters in a new light. It’s fun to watch Han and Chewie meet and become friends, it’s fun to watch them meet Lando Calrissian and hop into the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon for the first time. These are all things you knew would happen going into the movie, but it’s fun to see them regardless. I especially enjoyed watching Han and Chewie’s growing friendship, since they’re a classic duo and Wookiees have always been one of my favorite Star Wars creatures.

Speaking of Lando Calrissian, the filmmakers could not have found a better actor to play him than Donald Glover. He is absolutely perfect. He’s smooth as hell, but you don’t trust him for a second. I would happily watch Lando: A Star Wars Story, with Glover in the lead. He steals the movie.

One of the strangest and most surprising/disappointing things about the movie is how bland it looks. The special effects are good, as one would expect from a Star Wars movie, but for some reason Ron Howard shot the film with a shockingly dull color palette. In stark contrast to the vivid blood red that characterized The Last Jedi (say what you will about the story but that movie looked amazing), Solo is mostly shades of brown and grey. If I had to pick one word to describe the visual experience of watching the movie, that word would be: meh. This is never good for a sci-fi movie that cost $250 million to make. I don’t know why Ron Howard made it look so drab. It seems like a wasted opportunity.

Despite its many flaws, I enjoyed the movie overall. There are fun and creative action sequences (the train heist is particularly fun), the acting is solid (Paul Bettany has a good time hamming it up as a scarred, red-eyed crime boss named Dryden Vos), and it’s a fun and entertaining sci-fi adventure. But the bland visuals and lackluster story keep it from being as good as it could have been.

The movie made around $80 million in its opening weekend, a respectable take but well below what Disney was projecting the film would make. I’ve already seen headlines online wondering if Disney and Lucasfilm will start rethinking their strategy regarding Star Wars movies, at the same time it’s been announced that a Boba Fett spinoff is in the works from Logan director James Mangold. That sounds promising, and there’s always Episode IX, which is due out next year. Whatever you thought about Han Solo’s first solo outing, rest assured that for the foreseeable future there will be more Star Wars movies on the horizon.